Perceived Perfection

Lately I have come to realise that I need to stop treating cosplay with so much sincerity and relax and have fun with it more often.
I apologise as this is likely to be a long, rambley post, but I feel like writing it out will help me feel better about it. And who knows, maybe I’m not the only one.
Let’s start at the beginning.
I was first introduced to cosplaying in 2007 when I was only 15. At the time it was all about having fun, wearing the characters I loved and being the typical young Expo fan. I grew up. I went to uni. I made new friends. Cosplay was still a pretty big part of my life. I learned about competitions. I started taking pride in making things well. And I kept finding myself not enjoying events as much as I used to, or as much as I wanted or expected to.
Slowly over time I’ve been reaching a point where I was convinced I would have to give up. It’s stressful and it’s expensive, I think we all know that. However the outcome of it is usually supposed to offset that. Whether that’s by winning competitions, having someone take your picture or just having a good time with friends. I just haven’t been finding the end result enough to justify the journey, as it were. I absolutely love my friends and adore spending time with them, but that doesn’t have to be in a cosplay context. The cosplay itself? Well that usually makes me feel unhappy more than anything else.
Then a few weeks ago, at LSCC, I think I worked out the problem. I take cosplay too seriously. I treat it like everything has to be just right. I don’t judge others like that mind you, just me. I looked at other people’s cosplays and they weren’t perfect. There were bits missing, hot glue strands peeking out, wigs lopsided. But it didn’t matter. They were still recognisable. They’d still put in a lot of hard work. And more importantly, they were having fun.
I’ve lost that sense of fun. I don’t quite know how or when. I’ve stopped enjoying making and wearing cosplays because I’m judging myself against a ridiculously high standard that it suitable only for the top competitions. In the competitive world it’s fine to be like that, it’s expected, but why am I behaving like that the rest of the time as well? I’ve told myself to be a good cosplayer I need to be perfect, which really isn’t true. I’m drowning in a sea of perfection that doesn’t exist. One that I’ve created out of some misplaced sense of ‘doing it right’.
I am slowly relearning that mistakes are okay, remembering that we learn from them and let’s be honest, we rarely notice the ‘mistakes’ on other people’s cosplays anyway. Whilst making Meiko I’m letting some of those mistakes pass, I’m taking a few shortcuts that won’t even affect the outside view of the cosplay in the end, but they sure do make my life easier. And you know what? I’m already much happier with it.
It is a slow process though, partly because I’ve spent so many years winding myself up in this tight ball of perfection that it’s going to take some time to let go. This is part of the reason I’ve let the blog go over the last few weeks, I just couldn’t keep on top of that along with everything else. I’m going to get over the Kita hump, as it were, and see where I’m at post that. Hopefully I’ll be in a good place to start on some new cosplays again and I’ll be able to jazz up the blog with some more excitement.
There’s so much I still want to do. I just need to find a way to enjoy it again,
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Things have been a little – okay a lot – quiet on the blog front recently. Primarily I’d like to put this down to trying to organise my wedding, which happens in just over a week! The plan is to come back in full force after the honeymoon, so keep an eye out =)

Musings

Sometimes I struggle with what to write here. I follow a couple of beauty blogs and I think that I’d quite enjoy doing that. But it’s not something I can dedicate my blog to, because cosplay is obviously such a bigger part of my life. I also don’t want to be just another blog in the crowd, as it were. On the other hand, makeup does definitely play a role in cosplay, so maybe I can take it in that direction? A specifically, helpful reviews and makeup for cosplay way. Obviously there would be crossover, especially since I do wear makeup every day.

I know I’m not going to get lots of readers overnight, but until I know people are enjoying reading what I post, I don’t know whether I’m posting the right things or not =p Which means I may end up with a somewhat random mix of things. I think there’s always going to be a cosplay bias, but whether that’s something that people will really want to read about remains to be seen. I’ll try to alternate some things between cosplay progress, photoshoots, makeup and whatever else I happen to think of.

Con season is ending very soon in the UK which means it’s almost time for me to hit the great big pause button on cosplay for most of next year. But hopefully that’ll give me more time to spend blogging and doing photography and perhaps even some videography. So I’ll very definitely still be around =)

Starting Fresh

I thought I’d start fresh with an introductory post about what you may find on here =)
First off, I’m not deleting any of my old posts, so they’ll just sit there. But this is no longer going to be purely cosplay progress. I imagine I still will post an awful lot of cosplay since it’s a pretty big part of my life (or before 3 weeks ago, I seem to be having an extended break). Other things you may find on here are:
– Beauty/makeup
Recently I’ve really got into doing more with my makeup and trying to improve my skin – mostly after watching Zoella on Youtube. To that end I may end up posting some product reviews or favourites. Admittedly, a lot of it will apply to cosplay more than every day makeup, but since I use different things everday and for cosplay there will be some separate bits! And of course, some things, like skin care, apply to whether you’re a cosplayer or not =)
– Every day life
Okay, so I know that’s kind of a vague topic, but it will inevitably find it’s way here, and since I don’t actually spend 100% of my free time cosplaying, and I do actually plan to start having a life outside of it, hopefully I will have some interesting things to say!
– General geekery
Because I do play various games and I like to read and enjoy the ‘nerdier’ side of life.
And, hopefully, if life permits, I’m also going to start some bi-weekly (maybe, perhaps?) Youtube videos. I may find it good to write a short blog post to expand on the video, but that is mainly going to depend on the video!
So, there you go. That’s roughly what you might expect to see on here in the future. I’m aiming to update every Sunday to start with so I can see how that goes. If it needs to become more or less frequent or not constrained to a day, I shall try to keep myself flexible.
In the mean time, I hope you like what you see, and I hope to see you every Sunday afternoon from now on =)

Hello…

I’m still getting views and I don’t know why, but thank you, dear random people, for at the very least clicking through.
I’m terribly sorry I gave up. I felt like I didn’t have much to write (still pretty sure I didn’t).

BUT!

I’m gonna rebrand – as it were, I’m clearly not actually a brand – this summer, and see how that goes =)

I return.

So, hello. I am back. And I have 2 things to say.

  1. I am back for good. Or at least, as good as I can be. Why? Because I got 5 hits in the last month. Now, that seems like nothing (it pretty much is), but since I haven’t posted anything since October I think any hits are good. So if I’m getting hits, I should be posting stuff, right?
  2. Despite my previous post, I shall keep this a purely personal blog. My progress, ideas and things I do. Mainly because I’ve joined a group of bloggers called Just Cosplay [Facebook & the actual blog] where I can blog about more general things. So you’ll see me in 2 places.
And there. We shall continue.
In the next couple of weeks, I’ll post photos from October Expo (incase anyone was left hanging, ha) and my cosplay progress since then and also coverage of Birmingham Expo last weekend. Sound good? Good.
See you all again soon =]